There are times in your life especially when you are sick, that you are forced into doing certain things that you think will be so annoying, even embarrassing and then you find out you were completely and utterly wrong. I have to empty my little hand grenades (drains) 3-4 times a day which involves a virtual dance of cup holding, tube pulling and liquid measuring all being done pretty much in the nude. Both Julie and Peter are helping me with this and they are both so sweet and gentle with me it’s very touching. I also have to have one of them help me to take a shower daily and we decided Julie would do it. When was the last time that you allowed someone to wash and dry you? At first I thought I might feel a little awkward but you know it really is a very tender act on the part of the giver and if you just let go and stop worrying about stupid stuff, like the fact that my boobs look like they have been hacked off with a chain saw (ok that’s an exaggeration) it can be a looked forward to, rather than a dreaded part of my day. We have laughed about all the funny names our Mothers had for our private bits ( My Mother called my vagina a h’apenny, Good grief Mum could you have put a little higher value on it?) we.ve talked about scars and old war wounds that all have great stories from childhood and beyond. Anyway my point is that I am learning that even the bad bits can be good bits if you let them.
What is it about animals, how they seem to know when you need a bit of extra attention. Ever since my first surgery, over a year ago, the once aloof Boris, has turned into velcro cat. He not only sleeps on my bed at night but insists on getting up to follow me to the bathroom in the night and if he gets the chance he will snuggle so close he sleeps with his head in my hand. Alfie too has once again up guard duty at the bottom of my bed. I don’t think I could be more loved…..Damn I’m lucky