[Originally posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2012]
I must make a note to myself not to drink large amounts of caffeine before I go for a procedure. By the time I got into the biopsy room I was a jittery mess (sometimes I’m not very smart) I asked for a Valium but am told no, so I had to get a hold of my frayed little nerves and do a bit of deep breathing, I knew those yoga classes would come in handy. I have to say that this was the most uncomfortable examination table ever (it’s called a stereotactic table) Hard plastic, no cush whatsoever and a large hole in the center for your boobs to drop through. Let me just explain how this procedure is performed because it really is pretty weird. Your boobs hang throught a hole in the middle of the table, The edge of the hole digs into your ribs. They then clamp your boob underneath and you are not allowed to move at all….phew! I feel myself getting claustrophobic all over again, anyway, now the bed is raised up and the Doctor works on you from underneath the table. If this sounds a lot like a car body shop to you then you are on my wavelength. I did manage to say “zzzp zzzp, can you rotate my tires while you’re at it please” that was about the extent of my humor today as I had to hold still on this torture table for two hours. By the time the actual core biopsy’s were taken I had been injected several times with anaesthetic and really it didn’t hurt at all. The first one was pretty straight forward and I was allowed to stretch a bit afterwards but the second was hard to get to (very close to the chest wall apparently, and there was an awful lot of pulling, tugging and just general discomfort. Finally it was over and I happily got to sit up only to be told that now I had to have another mammogram…..Jesus H, seriously? and not just one shot but three!!! I am now happily ensconced on the couch with a big bag of ice on my boob and a large vodka tonic at my side and Peter waiting on me hand and foot……there are always perks.
If you are really interested I have linked a video of this procedure bellow.